Mindshift, heartfucked.

So I decided to stop writing in Itallics, since i've become the dominant mindset.

Because of One. Fucking. Girl.

Why is it the girls I always fall for the hardest, I also fall for the fastest?

(scratches his head)

Because that's always been my style I guess.

It only took her 2 nights to really get in my head, and I hers.

Fuck me and my dominance. My Jealousy. My Rage.

And God damn the need for the Mask that is "Eric".

No more falling for everyone you're supposed to be shielding, Eric.

I'm so sorry to everyone. Truly. My words are all I have, but I know they're useless.

Especially when it was my Words that began it.

So, now, for the first time, with a nearly complete mind...

Amber Allen.

I'm not sure what you feel towards me. I know I'm second to Yellow Eyes.

I know I'm in your heart, and I keep making Calypso scream at you.

I trust you with my mind, as well as my heart.

Though I only trust the second because I'm a fucking massochist.

I wonder why I do, when you've already hurt me.

You fascinate me, in ways only you can, and keep me waiting and wanting,

and I wonder, do you do it on purpose? Do you want me to chase and pine after you?

Are you truly satisfied with friendship?

Are you just saying if he weren't there I'd be yours out of pity?

You, you goddamn Kitsune. You hardwired yourself into my brain and my heart.

My soul already fucking yearns to see you again. It hasn't even been an hour.

How can a girl, who, truly, I've known for...what? a week? two?

...How can you do this to me? How is it, when I see, you, I literally feel Everything.

Pain and joy. Lust, Love, and even a small portion of hate (rooted to jealousy/pain of course...)

Even my Dreams, my sacred world, you've changed. You shifted power and control back to its rightful place, whether I wanted it or not.

If I am what you desire, and you wish me not to have my mask on, not for me to be censored,
then why do you show the opposite?

We are alone, occasionally, but more and more recently that is not the case. Are you...pushing me away? Your actions contradict themselves, as your words do.

If you are truly as mixed up as this, and both your actions and words are as true as you profess them to be, should I remove temptation from your path? Should I simply vanish from your life?

I promised I wouldn't though. And I swore, to myself, at least, that i wouldn't let my Mask control me anymore.

I just want to be me....

I wanna scream right now. Just pour my lungs into Rage and release into the air.

I wanna yell at you. Really, i do.

But i kinda....can't.

Because I know how it feels to be in love with two at once....

Scratch that.

Have feelings for two at once. Have desires for two at once.

I urge you to pursue him. Because I don't know if you could actually be with me.

I need something to pull when I'm near you. Something physical to match my emotion.

I've already spent 20 minutes......no...make that 30 writing this.

My emotions are at my forefront, and my thoughts seem so very far away.

The chaos you stir in me is hard to hold back, hard to control.

Yet that is what you desire.....right?

The Twin Edge of an Ax

A few people....wondered how I got the nickname. And I find it funny, after so many years, the personality behind it still suits me.

Ax was a character in a book series called the Animorphs.

He was a creature, an alien, known as an Andalite. Imagine a centaur with a tail like a scorpion, except that the stinger is shaped like a V, and sharp as any blade.

They had the power to morph into any creature he touched.

One touch, and he could change into it for life.

Adaptation. The key to Life.

This is what I took from this character.
And the fact that know matter how much I "change"...

I'll never be like you people.

Lucy

"Hey Lucy I remember your name. I left a dozen roses, on your grave today.
Get down on my knees wipe the leaves away. Just came to talk for a while, I've got some things, I need to say."

Hey Aura... I wonder what you'd do, if you could see me now. How angry would you be?
or would you console me like you used to do? You're the only one who ever could.

I remember, how you were the only one I could cry around. That I didn't have to be invincible.
That I wasn't the rock holding you up, but we held each other. Supported each other.

"Now that It's over, i just wanna hold her. I'd give up the whole world to see that little piece of heaven lookin back at me. Now that it's over. I just wanna hold her. I gotta live with the choices I made, and I can't live with myself today."

I never told you this, never mentioned it, even though I should have. You know, you're the only reason I really want there to be an afterlife. I want to see you there. To meet you again. To laugh. Cry. Smile. Frown. Live. Love.

"Hey Lucy I remember your birthday. They said it'd bring some closure to say your name. You know I'd do it all different if I had the chance. but all i've got are these roses to give, and They can't help me make amends!"

It's been 6 years since I visited your grave. I want to go back sometime. I remember, every day, for an entire year I went there. I'd fall asleep against your headstone.

"Now that it's over, i just wanna hold her. I'd give all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking back at me. Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her. I've gotta live with the choices i've made and I can't live with myself today.

Here we are! Now you're in my arms! I never wanted anything so bad.
Here we are! For a brand new start! Living the life that we could've had.

Me and Lucy walkin hand in hand.
Me and Lucy never wanna end.
Just another moment in your eyes, I'll see you, in another life.
In heaven! Where we never say goodbye!

Now that its over. I just wanna hold her! I'd give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven lookin back at me!
Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her! I gotta live with the choices I made, and I can't live with myself today.

Here we are now you're in my arms.
here we are for a brand new start.
I've gotta live with the choices I've made, and I can't live with myself today!

Me and Lucy walking hand in hand.
Me and Lucy never wanna end.
I've gotta live with the choices I've made, and i can't live with myself....today....

Hey Lucy I remember your name.....


.....God...I miss you so Damn much.

Music Path

God I love this idiot.

The music we listen....it brings us together to being the same being. His anger, sadness.... all of it is his own when we listen..

"I want someone to hurt, like the way I hurt! It's sick, but it makes me feel better..."

Bwahahahaha!

I feel like I'm tapped into an electrical outlet with a short in it.

I have, feel so much energy, and yet, I yawn. I yearn for a peaceful sleep I'll never have.

I fantasized about killing the majority of last night.

I'll Find you Max. you God damned traitor.

You knew what that game would do, didn't you?

How, because of the effect games have on us....it becomes more like the game?

I miss the days I was a Demon in his mind.

I miss being the Ultimate enemy. The threat to the world.

If I ever erase you Eric, god help those you have scorn for.

And now, to continue where I left off last time...


Jessica Aucoin....

You're an idiot sometimes, but you're cute. We mighta had a shot if we werent trying for a relationship during the time Katie blew Eric's sanity to kingdom come.
You're a close friend, but we each have our responsibilities. In reality, I doubt we'll ever be more than that. Not to mention the fact Brenda and Lillian have both flirted with me, and I have returned it. I have a tendency to speak my mind, as you well know.

Renee Helmer.
In all reality, you're just naive, and innocent.
Why do I find that a bad thing? Hah.
Get out of that annoying depressing slump, and we'll talk.


Damn it, I'm hungry. I need to eat, but there ain't shit I want.

One of the cute girls I know oughta come make me some food.

Or at least then I might have some motivation to do more than sit on this fucking computer all morning. I should let this body rest. We're gonna have a hell night tonight.

Introduction

Hello, and welcome to my little corner.

My Last one. My last edge, aware of this world, aware of the fact I'm growing ever deeper
into my insanity.

Giving in more to what he truly wants. What he desires to do, but would never admit it.

....Well said.

My name... Is Eric.

I'm Dyne. I'm Eric's little voice. The devil on his shoulder, the face beneath his skin. This is the first time I remember him typing everything I say. In a very scary sense, I was created by Eric. Sustained by what he denies.

.... I still don't agree. I can't believe that I made you. But.... I'm done blaming anything else.

You wish. If that were true, you'd tell your friends about this page.

True. But that's because I doubt they would see me the same. This page will go public. In time.

What my lesser half is attempting to say is he doesnt trust you people. The pain, the judgement. It's too much for this whiny little bastard. *balls up his fists* Fucking Assholes.

Every Last One of you.

So Let ME begin this time, Haha!

We'll start with the most painful..

Katie Alisabeth Neuhauser. You hurt me deeper, even Eric deeper than he has been before. But God damn it was well done. If I had my way, My Truest wish, I would kill you. Your friends. Your family. My aura flickers at your name, and Eric's resolve is shattered at the note we still carry in our wallet.

Next, we'll start with some of my 'friends'.

Laurel Machel Damian, a.k.a. Dami
Laurel, You're one of the wierder ones. You somewhat understand 'what' I am, even if Eric doesnt tell you the entire truth. I was created, or rather, I evolved because of his will. Consciously. Your psychological side is fascinating, because you almost emulate me.
Be careful on your path, for you're begging to follow my road.
Especially considering our Past. You think you know me?
How much have I really shown you?



Elizabeth Avril Swain.
You are nothing but a ridiculous excuse for a friend. You have used me, continually. And I'm utterly done allowing Eric around you, for he turns into a puppy. It's time to show my bite.

Hannah (Emu) Leah Shipman
I wish I never met you. Never attempted to woo you. Never cared about you.
But I did, we have Kail, and I will FIGHT you for him you stupid bitch.
If I were a lesser, more violent shade of myself... Like I used to be..
I'd want to kill you both. The thought crosses my mind, frequently. But I will not, Can't.

That's enough out of you....and enough for Edition 1 of Dual Dimension.

The energy... It's radiating through me.

Even though I know the obvious answer? I really dont feel Human.

Manipulation

Hello. How are you?

What is your name?

It's nice to meet you....

My name?

I don't know my name.

Liar.

Hehehe.

So we come to this. Using some internet tool?

We have for a long time.

True Enough, Dyne.

Dyne... Is that my name, Eric?

I remember.... Yes.

It's one of the few you've given me over the years. Youkai. Cubia. Dyne...

...and I've alwyas been something different.. Eric... Ax... Skeith....

So, then, Let's begin.

Aye. For once... Let the Truth begin.

.... And So It Begins.